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Shwanzy

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Shwanzy
  • Town/Country : United states
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 March 1991 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 790
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Shwanzy : Here's a top! NOW TAKE OFF YOUR DOLLAR

Shwanzy's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Shwanzy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through I hear a tap on my driver's window. Its a police officer. FML

#192974 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (21482) - you deserved it (105547)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29am - intimacy - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (45522) - you deserved it (11419)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

#168503 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (68732) - you deserved it (10351)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:45am - health - by Monty (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out I could not go to the Philippines because I have never had Chicken Pox. The school took the radical decision to prohibit students who have never had Chicken Pox to leave the college. I am condemned to stay in Hong Kong in some shitty project because I am a healthy young man. FML

#168373 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (49564) - you deserved it (2921)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:14am - health - by Swaby (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I jokingly told my Mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's honey!" ... FML

#93640 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (23249) - you deserved it (39792)

On 02/21/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by acincollege (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

#19556 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (1147) - you deserved it (17289)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by maxthndr (man) - United States



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