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About Shootamonkey3 : I love reading FML stories! And I play a crap load of Xbox Live.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41958) - you deserved it (3630)
On 05/01/2011 at 10:30am - intimacy - by nothanks - United States (Texas)
Today, I went out on a date with an ex boyfriend that I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25942) - you deserved it (5272)
On 04/30/2011 at 1:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, when I came home from work, my computer was drenched with water. My sister claimed there was smoke coming out of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21660) - you deserved it (1660)
On 04/28/2011 at 3:29pm - misc - by Tokany (man) - Romania (Cluj)
Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should have told me she put in a stick to support the cake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28601) - you deserved it (2216)
On 04/25/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by Mr. Headshot -
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25741) - you deserved it (17814)
On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States
Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34832) - you deserved it (5281)
On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was at the hairdressers getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30021) - you deserved it (2076)
On 04/15/2011 at 2:43am - misc - by ugly - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had my girlfriend drive me to go buy a motorcycle. I rode it 50 minutes home, got in the drive way, put the kick stand down, and then lost my balance and fell on the other side. I paid $3000 to drop it in the first hour and break the turn signal off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6892) - you deserved it (3129)
On 04/12/2011 at 1:45pm - misc - by scottskidee - United States (Ohio)
Today, I wore a Stanford college T-shirt to school. My Spanish teacher took one look at it and said "You wish". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26463) - you deserved it (5854)
On 04/12/2011 at 6:09am - misc - by anon -
Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43646) - you deserved it (9845)
On 04/12/2011 at 12:27am - love - by BrokeAndPsst (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, the girl I was babysitting was being disrespectful to me, so I took away her stuffed animal and told her that she couldn't have it back until she apologized. She ended up sneaking onto my laptop and deleting all the pictures I'd saved from my recent vacation to Europe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26423) - you deserved it (13874)
On 04/11/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Got_any_grapes1 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I bought myself a brand-new 52" flatscreen. It was only in my house for 2 hours before my toddler had a tantrum, threw a toy right into the screen and wrecked it beyond repair. I paid to have a nice TV for 2 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27858) - you deserved it (6672)
On 04/11/2011 at 12:05pm - kids - by ac32 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28207) - you deserved it (4566)
On 04/11/2011 at 11:20am - love - by sandyhome (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6954) - you deserved it (22532)
On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18933) - you deserved it (2475)
On 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm - animals - by a man - United States (Tennessee)
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