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Shmeagle

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Shmeagle

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  • Number of visits : 709
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Shmeagle's page activity

Visits<b>sodapop83</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 11:57am<b>TunaFireStarter</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 2:15am<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 02/07/2011 at 11:07pm<b>zp5</b> - the 01/09/2011 at 1:16pm

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Shmeagle's favorite FMLs

Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML

#8791627
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17975) - you deserved it (7154)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by JoshuaRob - United States

Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML

#7813334
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24578) - you deserved it (3840)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:32pm - animals - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33402) - you deserved it (3200)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore

Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML

#6401579
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7697) - you deserved it (32232)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - animals - by jaydiv (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

#5330246
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35115) - you deserved it (3692)

On 09/18/2009 at 10:27am - animals - by poopEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML

#3790297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36456) - you deserved it (11612)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by newsgirl (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

#3241027
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44912) - you deserved it (26762)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

#2412589
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16769) - you deserved it (41214)

On 05/29/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by pissingcontest (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was babysitting an eleven year old boy. He decided we should play with nerf guns with velcro tips. I shot him in the crotch accidentally, and the dart stuck on his pants wiggling for about a full minute before his dad walked in to find us both staring at his son's crotch, giggling. FML

#256188
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44671) - you deserved it (11961)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm - kids - by xoVioLoveox (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in the fitting room at Old Navy, a customer asked me if we sold Calvin Klein jeans. I replied "no ma'am, this isn't a department store, we only sell Old Navy jeans." She left, and complained to my manager, who informed me that "the customer is always right." FML

#199047
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64006) - you deserved it (3340)

On 03/03/2009 at 7:18pm - work - by samantha (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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