Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Shmeagle

Search for a member

Shmeagle

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 710
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Shmeagle's page activity

Visits<b>sodapop83</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 11:57am<b>TunaFireStarter</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 2:15am<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 02/07/2011 at 11:07pm<b>zp5</b> - the 01/09/2011 at 1:16pm

Shmeagle's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Shmeagle's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

#14935582
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27583) - you deserved it (3363)

On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, scarcely having time to look at myself, I quickly got dressed and went to work. Only when I got there and saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror did I notice that the colour and detail of my black lacy bra could easily be seen. I work for a construction company. Full of men. FML

#14882987
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11999) - you deserved it (28478)

On 02/07/2011 at 2:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML

#14847630
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47072) - you deserved it (3698)

On 02/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

#14738365
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45708) - you deserved it (5496)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33908) - you deserved it (7630)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33035) - you deserved it (5666) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML

#14583588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20514) - you deserved it (2943)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:24pm - animals - by inchetogb - United States (Kentucky)

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

#14377824
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38948) - you deserved it (3917)

On 12/29/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the guy who got off when the elevator's doors opened had a very embarrassed look on his face. I didn't think anything of it till the doors closed. Turns out he was running away from his deadly fart. FML

#14242742
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24667) - you deserved it (2672)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:56am - misc - by lizard (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

#14234557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27604) - you deserved it (3025)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:23am - health - by BYUwildchild - United States

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

#14228543
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44320) - you deserved it (5666)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:23pm - misc - by carson28 - United States (California)

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47340) - you deserved it (17374)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

#13635730
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27645) - you deserved it (3062)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML

#13419509
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6927) - you deserved it (38925)

On 10/12/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancée broke up with me because of an argument about a printer. FML

#12716438
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30583) - you deserved it (5531)

On 08/24/2010 at 4:19am - love - by T.T (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: