[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Shimrra

Search for a member

Shimrra
  • Town/Country : Middlebury, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 November 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2690
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Shimrra's last visitors

JAL

Shimrra's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Shimrra's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981 (283)

I agree, your life sucks (13622) - you deserved it (66145)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent a cover letter to a potential employer. In the letter, I talked about my great attention to detail, my strong ability to focus, and my stellar writing skills. After hitting send, I reread the letter and noticed that I typed my name "B-R-A-I-N." My name is Brian. FML

#1008813 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (10751) - you deserved it (38322)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:09am - work - by jusfonzin (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

#1002619 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (65885) - you deserved it (4532)

On 04/15/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML

#987396 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (86437) - you deserved it (2794)

On 04/15/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by I_Hate_Cars - United States (South Carolina)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (77395) - you deserved it (28876)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (43126) - you deserved it (13378)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

#966967 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (61265) - you deserved it (19733)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Obee (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to a guy I met online and have known for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him twice, one of those times being currently. He was supposed to visit this summer. I got an email from him saying he's really a 17 year old girl from Chesterfield, MO. FML

#966789 (363)

I agree, your life sucks (24230) - you deserved it (67947)

On 04/14/2009 at 9:45am - love - by oxbbabexo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425 (667)

I agree, your life sucks (402825) - you deserved it (26899)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML

#956665 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (24840) - you deserved it (47825)

On 04/13/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by grem (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the cute girl was my three years old niece. I lost a tooth because of that punch. FML

#910905 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (70550) - you deserved it (3058)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:36am - love - by GotPunched (man) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I was looking at the page of a girl I've had this big crush on for a long time. After getting a date with her and taking her horse back riding and having a picture taken of the two of us I find that she paint shopped me out of the picture before posting it. FML

#847949 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (48109) - you deserved it (2820)

On 04/07/2009 at 1:21am - love - by darkman28 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about 5 minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped and she went to the bathroom. After waiting around 10 min, I decided to check if she was ok. The window was open. She was gone. FML

#818670 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (83286) - you deserved it (25145)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by dfhgblsf (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

#814298 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (59848) - you deserved it (3278)

On 04/05/2009 at 9:32am - health - by manlyman (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML

#811119 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (76602) - you deserved it (4346)

On 04/05/2009 at 1:04am - intimacy - by knicksfan (man) - United States (Indiana)