Shep81

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Offline (the 01/05/2015 at 7:09pm)

Shep81

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 January 1981 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1569
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Shep81 : paranormal investigator

Shep81's page activity

Visits<b>x0ellison0x</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 9:15pm<b>TemperanceRiley</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:21am<b>vadala18</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 2:44pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 8:44pm<b>saphy222</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 6:02pm<b>sam882</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 1:42pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:56am<b>luckyme143</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 12:59am<b>Littlest_things</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 3:29am<b>sorryheadphones</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 7:37pm<b>davered89</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:57pm<b>josiemorehouse</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:55pm<b>homiwan</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 11:25am<b>mikey1999</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 4:35pm<b>Memma</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:51pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 8:51am<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 12:56am<b>Marie54321</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 10:17pm

Shep81's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Shep81's badges

Shep81's favorite FMLs

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

by lilly1105 / 07/15/2013 at 9:19am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

by patriarchal apparently / 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm / Saint Lucia / Intimacy

Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 4:26pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 6:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

by kittykittyrun / 06/18/2013 at 12:28pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

by Jill / 06/15/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML

by kalisa anteater / 06/09/2013 at 4:49pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML

by I hate my job / 06/08/2013 at 6:20pm / United States / Work

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML

by stephscort / 05/11/2013 at 9:32am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm / Germany / Love

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Health