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Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62200) - you deserved it (4132)
On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
I agree, your life sucks (44262) - you deserved it (4030)
On 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43164) - you deserved it (10423)
On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I was rear ended at McDonald's by the same driver who rear ended me at the same McDonald's last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48378) - you deserved it (6848)
On 04/20/2013 at 9:43am - misc - by dentedmercedes - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42579) - you deserved it (2615)
On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39560) - you deserved it (4878)
On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30107) - you deserved it (2683)
On 03/21/2013 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31643) - you deserved it (2442)
On 03/16/2013 at 8:17am - misc - by nomorecleaning (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35122) - you deserved it (5209)
On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32710) - you deserved it (2663)
On 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35027) - you deserved it (4895)
On 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by WhyDoINeedAName - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42375) - you deserved it (4168)
On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14187) - you deserved it (49554)
On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25323) - you deserved it (2071)
On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50050) - you deserved it (4406)
On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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