Shemia

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Shemia

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4270
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Shemia's page activity

Visits<b>elsie23</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 7:05pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 1:51pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:13pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 08/03/2011 at 8:53am<b>Jimboom</b> - the 03/19/2009 at 11:35am

Shemia's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Shemia's badges

Shemia's favorite FMLs

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

by auscop / 09/17/2009 at 6:57am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation

Today, I realised that the man who I wanted to be with, the man who wanted to be with me, and my husband were three different people. FML

by sunburychick / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML

by Phoellie / 08/28/2009 at 7:43am / United Kingdom (London) / Holidays

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house I hear him shout "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, come back here!". He was talking to his cat who ran out the door behind me. FML

by roostergirl / 08/22/2009 at 11:39am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

by naughtyshirt / 08/22/2009 at 5:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I was at a clothing store. I tried on a dress, but decided it was too much for me. Taking it off, I realize my hair was tangled in the big security button. The employees had to bring me to the front of the store, lay me on the counter, and take the button out in front of a laughing crowd. FML

by ForeverEmbarrassed / 08/12/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML

by auslander / 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 15-year-old daughter asked for a ride to her boyfriend's house. It's the same house I've been driving her to for sleepovers with her friend "Kate" for two years. FML

by anonymous / 08/12/2009 at 12:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I told my 8 year old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she is ugly. FML

by loserwithlice / 07/26/2009 at 2:58pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has known for years, except for me and my older brother. FML

by whitechocolate / 07/19/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist. Afterwards I turned to my wife and said "I can't believe that worked." He was a few feet away and heard. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2009 at 6:40pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML

by joking0303 / 07/16/2009 at 3:08am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 1:51am / United States (Texas) / Holidays

Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML

by wow / 07/11/2009 at 4:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love