Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Shelta957

Search for a member

Shelta957

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1016
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Shelta957 : FML is probably my most visited app. I come on FML for a laugh, and sometimes just to make myslef feel better. I come on this website at least twice a day, and have been for about a year. I dont comment that much, but I enjoy readimg other peoples comment, and occasionally creeping on peoples profiles. :P I LOVE HARRY POTTER IT IS THE BEST SERIES KNOWN TO MAN!!!

Shelta957's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:02am<b>XcuzimsotiredX</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:29pm<b>imkidding</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 11:23pm<b>RikkaPuppy</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 4:12pm<b>TylerScatdaddy</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 8:17am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 12:21am<b>Kain713</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 6:14am<b>saoaot585</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 9:42pm<b>Mr_Bleepdabloop</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 12:27pm<b>ianjw21</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 6:24pm<b>Finni3466</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 11:25am<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 5:52pm<b>geezuscotty</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 9:44am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 7:04pm<b>FinJage</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 4:58am<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 12:13am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 10:21am<b>epicfail2000</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 5:35pm

Shelta957's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Shelta957's badges

Shelta957's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, I got in a heated fight and ended up being punched in the jaw. The fight was about Harry Potter. FML

#20856159
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34252) - you deserved it (19101)

On 08/27/2013 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was at the beach. I'd recently decided to try the "life hack" where you empty out a bottle of lotion and hide small valuables in it, to avoid them being stolen. I'd put the bottle in my bag. Instead of stealing stuff from inside it, though, someone just stole the whole bag. FML

#20853767
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36388) - you deserved it (9319)

On 08/25/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

#20849955
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37376) - you deserved it (3253)

On 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm - misc - by thanksad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

#20840053
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42270) - you deserved it (3267)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54101) - you deserved it (6153)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

#20827779
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46175) - you deserved it (6194)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm - kids - by JuggaloSlasher15 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

#20825416
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53276) - you deserved it (6991)

On 08/07/2013 at 11:46am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

#20825416
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53276) - you deserved it (6991)

On 08/07/2013 at 11:46am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

#20820272
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43549) - you deserved it (10013)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, said "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but... nevermind." then shook his head and walked out. FML

#20806774
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37003) - you deserved it (23575)

On 07/27/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by ¬_¬ (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, one of my bosses said, "You're going to take this as an insult, but it's not. At a certain age, women are supposed to cut their hair short." I have long hair. My bosses have all of the social skills of the guys from Big Bang Theory. FML

#20798680
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36814) - you deserved it (3267)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:23am - work - by Irreverend (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44557) - you deserved it (8812)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18653) - you deserved it (58152)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: