About SheeellBii : We're all addicted to something that takes away the pain.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39438) - you deserved it (10328)
On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was at a concert and an older man offered to let me stand in front of him because I'm short. It wasn't until the show started and people were jumping around did I realize he had a boner and was repeatedly bumping into me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16825) - you deserved it (2070)
On 03/02/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Lin - United States (California)
Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21521) - you deserved it (2596)
On 01/24/2010 at 7:28am - animals - by CheeseMonsters (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14775) - you deserved it (23756)
On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56273) - you deserved it (1908)
On 09/29/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by rainedaddy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I felt inspired to create a photo album of myself through the years. As I was organizing the photos of my childhood, I noticed how many my mom was holding me and hugging me in. When she came home from work I jokingly asked, "When did you start hating me?" She replied, "When you were 4". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34295) - you deserved it (4145)
On 08/11/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24363) - you deserved it (67768)
On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55828) - you deserved it (6908)
On 04/26/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by Tal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (75198)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21757) - you deserved it (42922)
On 02/12/2009 at 11:17am - intimacy - by florisvanlent (man) - Netherlands (Drenthe)
Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17967) - you deserved it (43831)
On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, I asked my mother if she thought my cat was getting fat. She replied "It's not the cat you should worry about". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15758) - you deserved it (3386)
On 02/01/2009 at 10:22pm - animals - by mikep - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Monday 17 June 2013
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