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SheLookdLegal2me

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SheLookdLegal2me
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 129
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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SheLookdLegal2me's favorite FMLs

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20342) - you deserved it (1470)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9356) - you deserved it (32985)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30019) - you deserved it (8708)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31406) - you deserved it (9292)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

#15890797
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25969) - you deserved it (17874)

On 04/22/2011 at 9:39pm - kids - by NathanPlays - United States (California)

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28420) - you deserved it (4101)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML

#15844059
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26511) - you deserved it (2543)

On 04/19/2011 at 4:23am - misc - by BerkeleyBiker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30752) - you deserved it (3886)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

#14234444
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32243) - you deserved it (2953)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35923) - you deserved it (7753)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML

#12874867
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (3524)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by anonymous.. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

#12768681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38681) - you deserved it (4239)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39216) - you deserved it (11945)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44029) - you deserved it (14244)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)



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