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You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9380) - you deserved it (1487)
On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6858) - you deserved it (785)
On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)
Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9299) - you deserved it (863)
On 12/12/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by lucas - United States (Alaska)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37643) - you deserved it (5376)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were talking about childhood memories. He told me about a girl he made fun of in middle school. That was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12074) - you deserved it (1011)
On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27076) - you deserved it (35567)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43044) - you deserved it (5487)
On 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34596) - you deserved it (6217)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (6372)
On 01/28/2011 at 9:25am - kids - by duckthehack (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)
Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22162) - you deserved it (5373)
On 01/23/2011 at 2:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was tending the cash register. I scanned a lady's items which totaled $89.68. She paid with a $100 bill. I gave her $11.32 change. She angrily gave back the extra dollar and complained about "schools nowadays". I'm an AP Calculus student. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7163) - you deserved it (30623)
On 01/13/2011 at 6:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10581) - you deserved it (36342)
On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28816) - you deserved it (7798)
On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (82979) - you deserved it (9946)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26730) - you deserved it (2985)
On 12/12/2010 at 4:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
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