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Shannonbena

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Shannonbena
  • Town/Country : H-Town, Texas
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2117
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Shannonbena's favorite FMLs

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

#21053604
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20336) - you deserved it (44614)

On 02/07/2014 at 6:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I told my professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML

#21053454
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47160) - you deserved it (3185)

On 02/07/2014 at 3:30pm - health - by ... - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46788) - you deserved it (15571)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML

#21052823
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32728) - you deserved it (13600)

On 02/06/2014 at 10:07pm - work - by AnonymousQuagga - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43277) - you deserved it (2986)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38559) - you deserved it (7452)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after months of looking at cribs and picking out the perfect one for my unborn daughter, the store informed me that they no longer make that crib, even though the model is right there on the sales floor. I had to leave as my hormones got the best of me and I started bawling. FML

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

#21046394
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41538) - you deserved it (7678)

On 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44931) - you deserved it (3522)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39300) - you deserved it (3993)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47289) - you deserved it (5529)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML

#21043075
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39021) - you deserved it (3370)

On 01/28/2014 at 2:43pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

#21042693
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37686) - you deserved it (4593)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:22am - animals - by Pooper scooper - Guam

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51229) - you deserved it (3940)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20517) - you deserved it (54282)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria



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