About Shannonbena : Ehh.
About Shannonbena : Ehh.
Shannonbena's FML badges
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Shannonbena's favorite FMLs
by fuck fof and die dad / 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 11:35am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
by limpdick9 / 11/19/2014 at 1:44pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, my wife and I had an argument serious enough to end our marriage, while overseas on vacation, with my whole family present. Three more days of awkward tension until we get to fly home and it all ends. FML
by overseasbummer / 11/14/2014 at 2:09pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML
Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML
by jennabee97 / 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2014 at 3:36pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by jj / 11/07/2014 at 12:47am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML
by ozozl / 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by really / 11/06/2014 at 7:30pm / United States / Love
Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML
by notsofriendly / 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Purple / 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML
by ArmyIT / 11/05/2014 at 6:42pm / Korea, Republic of / Health
Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML
by aineroo / 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm / Ireland (Galway) / Miscellaneous
by spooked / 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- Today while hanging out with my boyfriend and two of our guy friends I realized I was what you call… Today, I arrived at my new job only to find out, that I wasn't supposed to be there, and the only… Today, is a month into my new job. Three employees have already been fired, my boss has interviewed…