About Shannonbena : Ehh.
About Shannonbena : Ehh.
Shannonbena's FML badges
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Shannonbena's favorite FMLs
by shittysituation / 01/05/2015 at 1:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, these cute girls approached me and asked me to take a picture of them. One girl asked me if I could send it to her because her phone had died. I was excited to have her number, but it turns out that she deleted the message after she sent the picture to herself. FML
by fml / 01/04/2015 at 10:10pm / United States / Love
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML
by I'll Make You FartCum / 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML
by CK95 / 01/01/2015 at 6:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/30/2014 at 4:57am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
by Santa / 12/24/2014 at 10:01pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by bxjxj / 12/22/2014 at 1:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML
by financially_wreckd / 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm / Money
Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2014 at 9:41am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2014 at 8:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML
by blueballed / 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy
by stampslife / 11/28/2014 at 3:00am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation