About Shannonbena : Ehh.
About Shannonbena : Ehh.
Shannonbena's FML badges
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Shannonbena's favorite FMLs
Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML
by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
by UncleMonkey / 03/06/2015 at 1:18am / United States (California) / Health
by xXEmmaLieXx / 03/03/2015 at 12:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by frediqqq / 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by novaguy / 02/24/2015 at 11:15am / United States / Health
Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML
by Clive81 / 02/17/2015 at 3:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by okseñoryoucrazy / 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by WalkTheOtherWay / 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML
by The Soul Of A Damned Queef / 01/30/2015 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML
by frozenpoo / 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm / United States / Kids
Today, after listening to a group of my friends ranting on about how much they love babies and can't wait to have them, I got to witness their looks of horror and disgust as I expressed my desire to not have children. I also happened to be the only girl there. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2015 at 8:14pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
by shittysituation / 01/05/2015 at 1:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, these cute girls approached me and asked me to take a picture of them. One girl asked me if I could send it to her because her phone had died. I was excited to have her number, but it turns out that she deleted the message after she sent the picture to herself. FML
by fml / 01/04/2015 at 10:10pm / United States / Love
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML
by I'll Make You FartCum / 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will… Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding… Today, I was sexting my boss. I realised that I wasn't texting my boyfriend after I'd sent 2 nudes,…
- Today, I was running late to work and noticed that my car keys weren't in the right spot. I quickly… Today, I drove my girlfriend to take her on the first date out of the house we've had since she got… Today was my new bosses first day in the office. I had my girlfriend make him some brownies. When…