About Shannonbena : Ehh.
About Shannonbena : Ehh.
Shannonbena's FML badges
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Shannonbena's favorite FMLs
Today, an old friend of mine landed in Spain, where he's visiting me. After a few minutes talking about where we should meet, we realized the reason he couldn't figure out where it was, was probably due to the fact that he was in Barcelona. I live in Madrid. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2015 at 10:24am / Spain (Aragon) / Intimacy
by generic_name123 / 03/09/2015 at 9:55am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/09/2015 at 8:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML
by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
by UncleMonkey / 03/06/2015 at 1:18am / United States (California) / Health
by xXEmmaLieXx / 03/03/2015 at 12:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by frediqqq / 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by novaguy / 02/24/2015 at 11:15am / United States / Health
Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML
by Clive81 / 02/17/2015 at 3:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by okseñoryoucrazy / 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by WalkTheOtherWay / 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML
by The Soul Of A Damned Queef / 01/30/2015 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML
by frozenpoo / 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm / United States / Kids
Today, after listening to a group of my friends ranting on about how much they love babies and can't wait to have them, I got to witness their looks of horror and disgust as I expressed my desire to not have children. I also happened to be the only girl there. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2015 at 8:14pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex… Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him… Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried…