About Shannonbena : Ehh.
About Shannonbena : Ehh.
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Shannonbena's favorite FMLs
Today, I laughed about a fold in my girlfriend's jeans that felt like she had a tiny boner. She started crying. Turns out she has a slight deformity. Oops. Explains why we've been taking it so slow. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2015 at 4:39am / Australia / Love
by ph2222 / 10/05/2015 at 1:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I had to stand up on a train for my 4-hour journey. Why? Two pregnant women flew into unbridled rage with me over sitting in the priority seating, saying I was selfish. I'm recovering from spinal surgery. FML
by hunchbackofnotredamn / 09/29/2015 at 4:33am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Transportation
by itwaswarm / 09/25/2015 at 5:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, there was a big party at my workplace. The only person that was socializing with me in any way was my co-workers 4-year-old daughter. Before leaving, she drew smiley faces on plastic plates and napkins and gave them to me so I "will have some friends and not be all alone". FML
by ForeverAlone / 09/22/2015 at 5:40pm / Ukraine / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML
by Anonymous / 09/18/2015 at 5:14pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd patronized for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
by BlueMacaw / 09/16/2015 at 2:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my teacher plugged the speakers into the wrong input on his computer, and said, "Oops, wrong hole", to which one of the students who often makes the same mistake said, "Story of my life". I understood it differently and started laughing. It would have been fine if the teacher wasn't her father. FML
by zachjm98 / 09/15/2015 at 6:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML
Today, my in-laws decided they were going to stay an extra week during our vacation to Dominican Republic next year. This would be fine, if we weren't travelling for our destination wedding, and the extra week wasn't our honeymoon. They are literally joining us on our honeymoon. FML
by SadBride / 09/07/2015 at 8:39pm / United States (Delaware) / Love
Today, I arrived 10 minutes early to my orthodontist's office to get my braces off. It turns out my appointment was actually one hour earlier, and now the next available appointment is in four weeks. FML
by Anonymous / 09/04/2015 at 8:43pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by extremereviews / 08/16/2015 at 6:14pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, at a quiet restaurant, my stepdad loudly told me he hopes in the future they have "hover caskets" so he doesn't have to carry my "fat ass" to the grave. All because I didn't want a side salad. FML
by jarkleflob / 08/16/2015 at 1:49pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, a kid on a bike passed me and commented on my "big fat butt." Recognizing him from the neighborhood, I told my husband to go speak to his parents about the inappropriate comment. It turns out his father is the man who yesterday commented on my "big bouncing tits." FML
by Mrs. W. / 08/10/2015 at 8:32pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous