About Shannonbena : xVeteran Expatsx I live a pretty average life besides the fact that I travel a lot and spent each summer in a different country
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Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42834) - you deserved it (5429)
On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand
Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37752) - you deserved it (10790)
On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20747) - you deserved it (41605)
On 04/18/2013 at 5:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Bulgaria (Sofiya)
Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42341) - you deserved it (5445)
On 04/17/2013 at 6:20am - health - by Annieisnotokay - United Kingdom
Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35421) - you deserved it (2045)
On 04/16/2013 at 4:48am - love - by Grand_Cookie - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37356) - you deserved it (16745) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54981) - you deserved it (3079)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44624) - you deserved it (5213)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38773) - you deserved it (4149)
On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57580) - you deserved it (1858)
Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29161) - you deserved it (4370)
On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31360) - you deserved it (2070)
On 03/31/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by jll14 (woman) - Malaysia (Sabah)
Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28083) - you deserved it (4376)
On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States
Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38565) - you deserved it (3270)
On 03/31/2013 at 9:32am - kids - by The_Black_Jesus - United States
Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. 10 minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31994) - you deserved it (2563)
On 03/30/2013 at 11:29am - misc - by My Life Is Just PERFECT - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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