Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Shannonbena

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

Shannonbena

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5447
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Shannonbena : Ehh.

Kik @shannonbena

Shannonbena's page activity

Visits<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 1:06pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:30am<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:12am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 10:19am<b>ixfaithxi</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 12:15pm<b>GayBlowjob</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 3:53am<b>baker77</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 11:00pm<b>julianvasquez</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 11:04pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 1:58am<b>AntiPrude</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 10:11am<b>CorpsmanUp88</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 12:50am<b>l23VIVE</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 2:16am<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 2:40pm<b>DingoCJ</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 6:38am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 12:03am

Shannonbena's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Shannonbena's badges

Shannonbena's favorite FMLs

Today, I felt so overwhelmed by all the kids in my house that I sat in the bathroom alone for a while to get some peace. I sat on the toilet for so long that I started to pee, realizing too late that the seat was down, and that I was also quite overdressed for the occasion. FML

#21249067
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25713) - you deserved it (7971)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:01pm - kids - by SunshineSquared (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31595) - you deserved it (3297)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was entertaining himself by shoving tampons up his nose and seeing how far across the bed he could blow them. This man is the father of my son. FML

#21248639
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27861) - you deserved it (6795)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34554) - you deserved it (7988)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34919) - you deserved it (2781)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18907) - you deserved it (39774)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

#21245833
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32066) - you deserved it (5341)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML

#21243818
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34638) - you deserved it (7114)

On 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18810) - you deserved it (43364)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML

#21242399
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38464) - you deserved it (14686)

On 08/21/2014 at 11:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42456) - you deserved it (7394)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 24-year-old, unemployed brother stole all of my food money and went out with his friends. His punishment from our parents? He has to pay me back when he gets a job. My stomach has to wait. FML

#21241750
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39494) - you deserved it (2583)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:59pm - money - by HungryStudent (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63000) - you deserved it (4089)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36719) - you deserved it (9991)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: