Shadowflames420

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Shadowflames420

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 72833
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Shadowflames420's page activity

Visits<b>2ponds</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 9:56pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 1:22am<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 5:06am<b>llamingo</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 3:08pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:22pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:26am<b>Clevelandians</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:29am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 9:43am<b>StevoKing666</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 2:44pm<b>thelion9876</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 8:15pm<b>nina_0917</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 1:34am<b>voltie</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 10:27am<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 12:12pm<b>babe7260</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 1:46am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:32am<b>fatman1970</b> - the 03/23/2010 at 6:27am<b>Daniman</b> - the 11/17/2009 at 3:50am<b>checkmykicks</b> - the 09/17/2009 at 11:40pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:26pm

Shadowflames420's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Shadowflames420's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML

by Daddy. / 02/17/2010 at 3:15am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I hooked up with a guy who has a Facebook page for his cat. FML

by CatWoman / 02/11/2010 at 12:33am / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML

by mjohnston / 03/27/2009 at 10:47am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

by Smash_Mouth / 03/08/2009 at 12:36am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML

by thissucks / 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

by apricot / 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

by horny bastard / 01/16/2009 at 3:34am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy