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ShadowLord's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 7:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 3:07am / United Kingdom / Love
by nomorexbox / 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm / United States (Georgia) / Geek
Today, I received my first wedding present in the mail. I opened it immediately and called the sender to say thanks. She yelled at me for opening it and, because she shipped it to me by mistake, requested it back. FML
by bride2be / 02/13/2011 at 9:22pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother came over again to help me work on my Student Aid application. She also brought over the savings bonds that she has been accumulating since I was born to help pay for college. Turns out they won't reach maturity until I'm thirty. She never bothered to check out this fact. I'm screwed for college. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2011 at 5:52pm / United States (Washington) / Money
Today, I found a schedule in my dorm room that I share with three other guys. Looking at it closer I realized it was my schedule with notes written in all around it. My roommates have planned their entire days around mine so we won't have any interaction at all. I thought we got along great. FML
by Anonymous / 12/03/2010 at 8:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally got the courage to tell the guy I liked how I felt by making him a mixed CD. Confident, I gave it to him. After class, I went to the trash can to throw some paper away. I saw my mixed CD in the trash. FML
by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 1:04am / United States / Love
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
by annonymous / 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/01/2009 at 9:40pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, I missed my bus by a minute. I called up my step dad asking him if he can drive me because I had a test first period. After about calling him twenty times, and him not picking up, I see him drive by the bus stop pointing at me and laughing hysterically. FML
by NotFunny / 09/24/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
by Anonymous / 09/20/2009 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2009 at 10:37am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, my family bet me $20 to wear a Disney Princess hat for the entire day around a theme park. I am 17 years old. We decided to go for lunch in one of the restaurants. After we finished, a woman gave my parents a leaflet on how to cope with disabled children. FML
by Becky / 08/21/2009 at 7:51pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML
by notawizard / 07/16/2009 at 6:16am / Spain (Catalonia) / Kids
- Today, I was playing a video game with my girlfriend, and it started getting really hard, so within… Today, I gave a huge speech in front of my peers that counted for half of my grade in the class. I… Today, I picked up boxes my dad found from when I stayed there a few months after a break up. They…