About ShadowDragon : AIM - ShdwDragon4
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73329) - you deserved it (24474)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18741) - you deserved it (51658)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by whatever (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52635) - you deserved it (2843)
On 03/21/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by al0406 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (314143) - you deserved it (41273)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18236) - you deserved it (47048)
On 03/17/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Noname - United States (Washington)
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96635) - you deserved it (11663)
On 03/15/2009 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by MarMar (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9937) - you deserved it (98433)
On 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arkansas)
Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60166) - you deserved it (23721)
On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10405) - you deserved it (57574)
On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29250) - you deserved it (87168)
On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "you jerk! Why are you mocking her? She has tourettes you know!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40318) - you deserved it (32544)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:00pm - work - by Ricky (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21742) - you deserved it (35719)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (66155)
On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39519) - you deserved it (126584)
On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47193) - you deserved it (11856)
On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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