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Sfugius

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Sfugius
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 July 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 3152
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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Sfugius's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

#8191025
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28693) - you deserved it (2359)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:48am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML

#8189417
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17678) - you deserved it (5180)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by Chris - United States (California)

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

#8169403
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15875) - you deserved it (2215)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28764) - you deserved it (2159)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

#8130658
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18838) - you deserved it (4333)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML

#8125309
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19563) - you deserved it (6674)

On 02/11/2010 at 8:33am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

#8124338
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37744) - you deserved it (2610)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML

#8099934
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8788) - you deserved it (20229)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by squishy - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend of a couple of months texted me that she was very sad because her puppy had just passed away. Feeling sorry for her, I bought her another puppy of the same breed. I wrapped it in a blanket and placed it on the passenger seat and went to pick her up from school. She sat on it. FML

#8099753
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27310) - you deserved it (7190)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

#8052532
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11088) - you deserved it (22613)

On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

#8042799
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23769) - you deserved it (3351)

On 02/09/2010 at 3:19am - kids - by matchristityler (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

#8040620
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26458) - you deserved it (1799)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:40am - health - by utensils123 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I've picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML

#8038027
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19970) - you deserved it (2005)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by wurtabang - United States (Virginia)

Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

#8021510
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29493) - you deserved it (1864)

On 02/08/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by disasterbutton (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML

#8005282
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9123) - you deserved it (26700)

On 02/08/2010 at 5:52am - health - by preggers (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)



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