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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8091) - you deserved it (43150)
On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23536) - you deserved it (2225)
On 10/19/2011 at 5:40am - misc - by targe - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35491) - you deserved it (7643)
On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was in the shower, my older brother thought it would be funny to change the language on my phone to Serbo-Croatian. I don't know how and can't change it back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18843) - you deserved it (3419)
On 10/18/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaleesadavis21 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15306) - you deserved it (27689)
On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6272) - you deserved it (36492)
On 10/18/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by BackAndForth (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23949) - you deserved it (2640)
On 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm - work - by number2 - United States
Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12168) - you deserved it (53558)
On 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm - misc - by planking champion (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I realized the closest I've ever been to being hit on was with a car in the school parking lot. Even then, the guy claimed he "didn't notice" me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18022) - you deserved it (1892)
On 10/14/2011 at 6:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23334) - you deserved it (6429)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
I agree, your life sucks (22158) - you deserved it (1733)
On 08/20/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by anonymous22kittylicklick (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23451) - you deserved it (2701)
On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34277) - you deserved it (4136)
On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States
Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother in law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25773) - you deserved it (2364)
On 06/20/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by firethorn - United States (Texas)
Today, my sister drove past me while i was walking home in the rain, she honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30167) - you deserved it (2351)
On 06/03/2011 at 4:55am - misc - by myhairgetsfrizzywhenwet (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 20 May 2013
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