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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28064) - you deserved it (5889)
Today, while trying to get my phone to charge, I shoved in the cable harder and harder and tried to wobble it so my phone would charge. After snapping the USB input from the force, I saw the plug was switched off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4764) - you deserved it (26834)
On 10/29/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Poole)
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18584) - you deserved it (3071)
On 10/26/2011 at 4:58am - misc - by MereLewis95 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34240) - you deserved it (2917)
On 10/26/2011 at 2:58am - intimacy - by Darcy (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, at my job as a produce clerk at a grocery store, I had an entire conversation with my coworker about how nice the new cabbage boxes are. This is all it takes to thrill me these days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16938) - you deserved it (2179)
On 10/26/2011 at 2:36am - work - by insanitycalling - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14691) - you deserved it (3200)
On 10/26/2011 at 12:31am - work - by rowanjusmc - United States (Missouri)
Today, I tried to politely explain to my mother that I'm allergic to her laundry soap. She just called me crazy. I have been scratching for three days straight and my skin is almost all red. She refuses to buy anything else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18200) - you deserved it (2665)
On 10/25/2011 at 8:02pm - health - by izzy54149 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29928) - you deserved it (4317)
On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27753) - you deserved it (2041)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23985) - you deserved it (5186)
On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)
Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17453) - you deserved it (9803)
Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21840) - you deserved it (22982)
Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31001) - you deserved it (2334)
On 10/25/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by myownperson - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was napping. I woke up to my pillow making some sounds. Thinking it was my head shifting my pillow, I went back to sleep. Later on I woke up to the sounds again, and a mouse staring at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22609) - you deserved it (2176)
On 10/25/2011 at 3:17am - animals - by pinkjade - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, it was my birthday. We had a huge family dinner and everyone was invited, including my boyfriend. My family is kind of stuck-up, so I was very nervous about him meeting them. He got into an argument with my uncle over how "awesome" Van Halen is, and ignored me all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17970) - you deserved it (2828)
On 10/25/2011 at 3:10am - love - by SNBBFF - United States (Florida)
Friday 24 May 2013
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