Sfmsk

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Offline (the 07/22/2016 at 12:21pm)

Sfmsk

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 May 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2903
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Sfmsk's page activity

Visits<b>chewsef</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 2:45am<b>xKG33x</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 8:57pm<b>itprosam</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 10:50pm<b>jay_diego09</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 10:33pm<b>dacronsurtr</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 12:45pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 11:36am<b>KillSwitch96</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 1:57am<b>swedeNix</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:43pm<b>ranger_13</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 1:49pm<b>jeffro1983</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 12:53pm<b>f36k</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 12:48pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 10:22am<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 7:19am<b>dfens</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 7:07am<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 8:38pm<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 10:58pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 4:42am<b>Dracoboxer357</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 4:09pm

Sfmsk's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Sfmsk's badges

Sfmsk's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

by bronieswillrule5eva / 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Work

Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML

by needurlove / 04/15/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

by CA19oo / 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML

by unendowed / 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

by Redhead4life / 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML

by lizzie1833 / 03/17/2012 at 10:16am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

by CierraJordan / 03/14/2012 at 7:31am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

by PixieWrists / 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health

Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML

by lanu / 03/13/2012 at 12:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a mild epileptic seizure. My mom's immediate reaction was not to comfort me or call for help, but to freak out over the fact that I'd spilled my glass of milk over the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 12:08pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML

by Tommy / 03/06/2012 at 1:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

by fingerhut / 03/03/2012 at 3:27am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML

by argh / 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous