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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20773) - you deserved it (1898)
On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)
Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18962) - you deserved it (2523)
On 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm - health - by PixieWrists - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20049) - you deserved it (1809)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by lanu (man) - United States
Today, I had a mild epileptic seizure. My mom's immediate reaction was not to comfort me or call for help, but to freak out over the fact that I'd spilled my glass of milk over the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20294) - you deserved it (1298)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18900) - you deserved it (1598)
On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9151) - you deserved it (12338)
On 03/06/2012 at 1:55pm - love - by Tommy (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15481) - you deserved it (2223)
On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)
Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5903) - you deserved it (18298)
On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15757) - you deserved it (2236)
On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26135) - you deserved it (4048)
On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I dolled myself up and hit the campus gym, hoping to leave with a cute boy's number. I left in a stretcher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8521) - you deserved it (22757)
On 02/24/2012 at 6:01pm - health - by gabby - United States (Texas)
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6921) - you deserved it (21288)
On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9407) - you deserved it (31486)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18433) - you deserved it (6651)
On 02/20/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by shea234 - United States
Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18288) - you deserved it (1885)
On 02/15/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Friday 24 May 2013
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