This member hasn't filled in their description.
Sexy_ChosenBeast's FML badges
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Sexy_ChosenBeast's favorite FMLs
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
by -_- / 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Abrams52 / 05/28/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Animals
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
by ugh / 03/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by lonely girl / 03/11/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love
Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML
by human lava lamp / 03/10/2013 at 3:54pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Amanda / 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm / Canada / Kids
by wilks311 / 02/02/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by dynah114 / 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 6:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/20/2013 at 10:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm / Iceland / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…