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SexySlytherin

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SexySlytherin

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 591
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SexySlytherin's page activity

Visits<b>Kkkdawg</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 9:21am

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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SexySlytherin's favorite FMLs

Today , I Discovered I Have Epilepsy. 10 Years Ago , I Told Mother About Frequent Fits Of Vertigo , Deja Vu , Nausea , Flashes Of Memory And Strange Sounds , Smells , And Images , Coupled With An Other-worldly Feeling. I Thought They Were Holy Visions. So Did She. Real FML

Today.. . I found mah elderly neighbour on all fours in mah garden eating mah flowers . FML

#20836671
114 comments

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and trid to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormd over, said "I got this!" and puntd him over the edge. We both got thrown out fir "bullying" the kid. FML

#20827779
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46434) - you deserved it (6218)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm - kids - by JuggaloSlasher15 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my pone went off, reminding me to take my birt control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. Te ringtone ad been canged to my boyfriend singing "It's birt control time, birt control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56353) - you deserved it (9340)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Yesterday, one of mah cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean looool up regurgitated kittens. FML

TODAY, AS PART OF MY VETERINARY DEGREE, I HAD TO DEMONSTRATE HOW TO JERK OFF A DOG IN FRONT OF MY ENTIRE CLASS. AFTERWARDS, THE LECTURER SAID THAT I HAVE THE 'MAGIC TOUCH'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59339) - you deserved it (6965)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

today while leaving McDonald's I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watchd in the rear-view mirror as it landd in the opposite lane an about 60 wingd rats descendd upon the street causing a truck to veer off the road an crash. FML

#20773275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27464) - you deserved it (46021)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today...hat startad off as an amazing data with mah girlfriand andad with ma driving har drunk ass homahila sha sat in tha backsaat making out with har naw boyfriand. FML

Today I was planning on having sex with mah girlfriend 4 the first time so I asked mah roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through mah roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58592) - you deserved it (8206)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

today I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

#20709749
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42600) - you deserved it (3163)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm - health - by fuck kids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the grl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below cuz my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML

#20698485
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47545) - you deserved it (22431)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by WTF (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today... I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose an mouth with his hand an complaining... ( Noooo... u need to die now. ) FML

#20695159
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64221) - you deserved it (5158)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

yesterday my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him an his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom an said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, 4get her. But I never forgot yur mom, that's how I stole her from yur dad." mega FML

#20687932
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54048) - you deserved it (3721)

On 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by MsAnonymous17 (woman) - United States

Today, I had to listan to yat anothar dalusional fuckfaca at school bitch about how a girl ha's intarastad in put him in tha "friand-zona". I raally couldn't focus on mah work, so I triad to shut him up by saying ha's an idiot, not laast bacausa sha alraady has a boyfriand. I now hava a black aya. FML

#20667310
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (16150)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Taday I tried to show mah boyfriend's mom a picture of mah prom dress on mah phone. She scrolled to the right to fine a picture of her son , naked.

#20642331
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42208) - you deserved it (73409)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States



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