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Today, I had to go buy diaper rash cream. For myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30601) - you deserved it (6006)
On 05/01/2013 at 2:40am - health - by ChangMu - United States (Iowa)
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48614) - you deserved it (5700)
On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26512) - you deserved it (58750)
On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia
Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46834) - you deserved it (9279)
On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36392) - you deserved it (6987)
On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37104) - you deserved it (7054)
On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35517) - you deserved it (2179)
On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML
I agree, your life sucks (65989) - you deserved it (8432)
On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49916) - you deserved it (3007)
On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51946) - you deserved it (10799)
On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63038) - you deserved it (6892)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37168) - you deserved it (14044)
On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37953) - you deserved it (2816)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:23am - health - by fiercehawk (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69803) - you deserved it (3085)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31888) - you deserved it (4327)
On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 17 June 2013
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