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Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42389) - you deserved it (5444)
On 04/17/2013 at 6:20am - health - by Annieisnotokay - United Kingdom
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51108) - you deserved it (4715)
On 04/17/2013 at 2:14am - love - by rawdoglyfe69 - United States (Montana)
Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29003) - you deserved it (2846)
On 04/16/2013 at 7:13pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54918) - you deserved it (14249)
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59910) - you deserved it (6187)
On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)
Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62276) - you deserved it (2564)
On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24766) - you deserved it (28707)
On 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by reallythough - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47429) - you deserved it (5712)
On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35178) - you deserved it (2570)
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38582) - you deserved it (3426)
On 04/12/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50945) - you deserved it (3427)
On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33273) - you deserved it (10389)
On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States
Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38146) - you deserved it (8661)
On 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm - kids - by Me - United States (California)
Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40823) - you deserved it (4245)
On 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm - love - by drama king? (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31676) - you deserved it (14869)
On 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by birdiebeth13 - United States (Wisconsin)
Friday 24 May 2013
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