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Seepie

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Seepie
  • Town/Country : Kitchener, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1439
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Seepie's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45764) - you deserved it (6272)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46908) - you deserved it (12697)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40576) - you deserved it (2075)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

#20994581
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41504) - you deserved it (5806)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

#20993906
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35305) - you deserved it (2886)

On 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm - kids - by lavenderpiss (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

#20993322
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33206) - you deserved it (2553)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42887) - you deserved it (7376)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

#20991588
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45151) - you deserved it (3955)

On 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by puking now (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

#20989886
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35877) - you deserved it (4767)

On 12/12/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML

#20989013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46179) - you deserved it (4407)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by ElephantLover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

#20987856
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47325) - you deserved it (9290)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44629) - you deserved it (4864)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out in it and won't take it off, not even for sex. FML

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

#20983710
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53115) - you deserved it (15702)

On 12/07/2013 at 9:55am - intimacy - by feiedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45645) - you deserved it (3912)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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