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Seepie's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Seepie's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML
by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by YouSoSmelly / 08/02/2013 at 9:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by -_____- / 07/31/2013 at 5:23pm / Netherlands / Intimacy
by PrettyScared / 07/29/2013 at 11:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by confusedmofo / 07/29/2013 at 2:35am / Indonesia / Love
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML
by microlovin / 07/28/2013 at 3:45am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML
by good_aim / 07/27/2013 at 4:03am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML
by Anonymous / 07/26/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by amiezingme / 07/26/2013 at 9:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, my eldest daughter has 'officially' removed herself from our family and will no longer communicate with any of us. Apparently it's my fault that her younger sister is having a baby before her, and she can't be part of a family that 'treats her so unfairly'. FML
by JealousBratMuch / 07/25/2013 at 8:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm / South Africa / Transportation
Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by GiantsFan13 / 07/23/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML
by Parentalfailure / 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids