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Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31477) - you deserved it (2849)
On 02/24/2013 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by pissed girlfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27392) - you deserved it (3530)
On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)
Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26783) - you deserved it (5001)
On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out and threatened to get a restraining order after I called him an asshole. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and over 1,000 miles away from my parents' house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30438) - you deserved it (6364)
On 02/23/2013 at 8:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my very conservative mom met my girlfriend, who recently shaved her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My girlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confused transgender". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28165) - you deserved it (1782)
On 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18927) - you deserved it (35598)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she can do "so much better". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38205) - you deserved it (2698)
On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23311) - you deserved it (2413)
On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)
Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19599) - you deserved it (5173)
On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27249) - you deserved it (3271)
On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32578) - you deserved it (6293)
On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25883) - you deserved it (3958)
On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29871) - you deserved it (5824)
On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)
Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23663) - you deserved it (2716)
On 02/13/2013 at 4:01pm - kids - by mattrd (man) - United States
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22705) - you deserved it (4198)
On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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