Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Seepie

Online | Search for a member

Seepie

0Fucked!

SeepieSeepie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 July 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5969
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Seepie's page activity

Visits<b>panromantic</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 9:16pm<b>platypus546</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:24pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 8:25pm<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:25am<b>Borngemini77</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 7:03am<b>meepmerp</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 12:30pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 2:12am<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 7:29am<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 4:07pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 10:32pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 7:06pm<b>FancySquirrel</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 10:57pm<b>robo_thunder</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 1:45pm

Seepie's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Seepie's badges

Seepie's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

#21482104
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24833) - you deserved it (10884)

On 10/20/2015 at 6:13am - love - by bubblewrap (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML

#21479432
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31622) - you deserved it (5615)

On 10/13/2015 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend constantly mentioning pegging and asking me to let her do it, I caved and figured I might as well stand by my "try anything once" rule. Her response? Saying she knew I was gay all along and dumping me. The fuck? FML

#21470529
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27658) - you deserved it (3406)

On 09/20/2015 at 9:44am - intimacy - by no I've never asked for anal (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

#21470063
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31458) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/18/2015 at 10:56pm - intimacy - by Lady Vulva of the Redwater (woman) -

Today, my teacher plugged the speakers into the wrong input on his computer, and said, "Oops, wrong hole", to which one of the students who often makes the same mistake said, "Story of my life". I understood it differently and started laughing. It would have been fine if the teacher wasn't her father. FML

Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML

#21467535
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23895) - you deserved it (4495)

On 09/12/2015 at 4:11am - health - by dammit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the guy I've been seeing bought me a nice bottle of wine and cooked dinner for me. Later, we started having sex for the first time. All was going well until he ran to the bathroom mid-sex and I had to listen to him with explosive diarrhea. The worst part is, he wanted to keep going after. FML

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25422) - you deserved it (6718)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33412) - you deserved it (4609)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

#21453366
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22962) - you deserved it (1995)

On 08/08/2015 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

#21447461
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17570) - you deserved it (12934)

On 07/26/2015 at 10:27am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

#21436148
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31458) - you deserved it (4596)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to break up with my boyfriend. The main reason being that he doesn't value my time, and fails to see how canceling at the last minute is rude and a major inconvenience. I wanted to be respectful enough by breaking things off face to face. He cancelled, at the last minute. FML

#21433097
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27048) - you deserved it (2423)

On 06/28/2015 at 1:06am - love - by Waste Someone Else's Time - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21481) - you deserved it (13290)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33481) - you deserved it (13988)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: