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SeasonedLemur

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SeasonedLemur
  • Town/Country : Appleby-In-Westmorland, England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 September 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1142
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SeasonedLemur : I eat doritos and play xbox all day everyday!
Waste your life with me! GT: SeasonedLemur

Oh and I know I\\\'m a complete fucking idiot I don\\\'t need to be told!

Happy Days!

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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SeasonedLemur's favorite FMLs

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

#487
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30004) - you deserved it (6378)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:48am - intimacy - by Sugao - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

#391
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41071) - you deserved it (22515)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my refrigerator defrosted itself. FML

#36
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33692) - you deserved it (5016)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my 63-year-old neighbor jumped out of his window. I was the first to find him, alive, naked and stuck in a bush. I guess I shouldn't have laughed at him while waiting for the ambulance, because he was my landlord. FML

#24
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35582) - you deserved it (19670)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:32am - misc - by Benji -

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

#8
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266329) - you deserved it (23305)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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