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SeasonedLemur

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SeasonedLemur

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 September 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1306
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SeasonedLemur : I eat doritos and play xbox all day everyday!
Waste your life with me! GT: SeasonedLemur

Oh and I know I\\\'m a complete fucking idiot I don\\\'t need to be told!

Happy Days!

SeasonedLemur's page activity

Visits<b>potato_panda</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 7:46am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 6:30pm<b>Le_Rabbid</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:08pm<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:04pm<b>games779</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:14pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:08pm<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:15pm<b>Shamp0wa</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 12:26am<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:49pm<b>lil_ham1644</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 9:00pm<b>subduedbeast</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 2:44pm<b>mickinly_lanae</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 7:30am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 2:08am<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 1:33pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 3:04pm<b>bryan1271999</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 7:28pm<b>TheCerealKiller</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 12:22am<b>im_fran</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 9:20pm

SeasonedLemur's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of SeasonedLemur's badges

SeasonedLemur's favorite FMLs

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44929) - you deserved it (4806)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

#3602722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59589) - you deserved it (4423)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:33am - intimacy - by Told_You_So (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

#3571839
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44116) - you deserved it (3392)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:02am - kids - by campmom (woman) -

Today, I come home to find my nephew holding pieces of my new $3,500 Sony Video Camera. He told me he threw it out the window because it was a portal for aliens. FML

#3527232
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48658) - you deserved it (3840)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by AidenFromSweden (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her mom gave me some seasoned cauliflower, which I didn't like. Not wanting to dissapoint my girlfriend's mom, I slipped the cauliflower of my plate and gave it to their dog. It turns out cauliflower gives their dog explosive diarrhea. FML

#3502310
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11517) - you deserved it (50030)

On 07/05/2009 at 11:23am - animals - by BigBallah93 - China (Beijing)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53113) - you deserved it (23659)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68314) - you deserved it (4979)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
514 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100669) - you deserved it (272216)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (182443) - you deserved it (46914)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML

#379533
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36189) - you deserved it (159290)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML

#3156
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5407) - you deserved it (39099)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:20pm - misc - by 315 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

#552
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51897) - you deserved it (6310)

On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version

Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

#497
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32202) - you deserved it (3245)

On 12/11/2008 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Black - Lebanon (Beqaa)



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