[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

ScorpionSheets

Search for a member

ScorpionSheets
  • Town/Country : Rocky Point, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 June 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 256
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About ScorpionSheets : I'm a Hollywood Undead fanatic and I need to get my daily dose. Love this website and need it everyday. I kinda obsess so, yeah FML.

ScorpionSheets's last visitors

jetpackzach

ScorpionSheets's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ScorpionSheets's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

#2966896 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (21897) - you deserved it (48625)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to take off my girlfriend's bra. When I finally unhooked it, it snapped back and hit me in the eye. FML

#2890186 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (38741) - you deserved it (18617)

On 06/14/2009 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by HatedbyBras (man) - Netherlands

Today, as a prank, my friends put a big bucket of water on my door so that it would spill on me as I exited my room. It would have been funny if I hadn't been holding my $900 laptop as I was walking out. FML

#2887279 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (45396) - you deserved it (1722)

On 06/14/2009 at 3:14pm - work - by Dominic (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190 (371)

I agree, your life sucks (121590) - you deserved it (28947)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML

#1547759 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (57486) - you deserved it (6813)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by systeminitiated (man) - Canada

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783 (315)

I agree, your life sucks (44526) - you deserved it (79650)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (372990) - you deserved it (413056)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw my mom sneaking meat into her spaghetti sauce. She told me she sneaks meat into most of the food she cooks. I've been a vegetarian for 8 years. FML

#108416 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (39078) - you deserved it (11414)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by j0hn (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML

#13772 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (5946) - you deserved it (56661)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by facepalmshroomer (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I marked the 6th anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

#3114 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (25561) - you deserved it (3292)

On 01/28/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)



Your account

Sign up - Password?
→ Illustrated FMLs
→ The blog
+ FML, the follow-up
↓ Categories

FML's blog

05/15/2012

The whole blog

Switch to FML for visually impaired

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2012 by