Not much to say, only trying to score the girl I've been in love with for 2 years, and she refuses to admit she loves me even though she tells her friends... yup... you know...
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40260) - you totally deserved it (9048)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36738) - you totally deserved it (1065)
On 08/28/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by wtfman101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up and my little brother was crying. Last night I got compelety loaded and thought I drowned a fish. I didn't feel that bad because fish live in water. It was actually my brother's new hamster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3158) - you totally deserved it (42535)
On 08/28/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by NIAMHisNORMAN (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23653) - you totally deserved it (6578)
On 08/28/2009 at 3:51am - misc - by pistonchamp159 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had the closing shift at work in a cafe and there was a man and lady left. I made them coffee and started to close up. When the lady finished her coffee she grabbed my arm and said 'I think that man is masturbating' and leaves in a hurry. I had to wait for him to finish before closing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45857) - you totally deserved it (2189)
On 06/05/2009 at 3:43am - intimacy - by MBG (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31728) - you totally deserved it (13298)
On 06/05/2009 at 1:03am - health - by NoPainNoGain (man) - United States (California)
Today, on a plane home from Ireland, my husband who was severely hungover, vomitted in a bag before we took off. When he got up to put the bag in the bin the stewardess forced him to sit back down. I had to hold on to a bag full of vomit for a good few minutes whilst my husband was passed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25023) - you totally deserved it (3244)
On 06/04/2009 at 10:04pm - health - by scarlett666 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13124) - you totally deserved it (39191)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on… for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24477) - you totally deserved it (3458)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:29am - misc - by aXel -
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