About SaxophoneHero : If you came to my profile wondering if I am the blue dude playing the saxophone in the picture, I will have you know that I actually am! I'm part smurf, please don't make fun of me for it. Don't be a racist.
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SaxophoneHero's favorite FMLs
by I get the hint / 09/18/2013 at 2:19am / Health
Today, I attended my first day of school 4 days after reconstructive surgery. But no worries: I'm sure my alien-like appearance and 2 hours of Darth Vader style breathing in an otherwise silent test room will make me lots of friends. FML
by carobee / 08/24/2013 at 12:25am / United States (Washington) / Health
by dareyale / 07/26/2013 at 2:10am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
by Sovekipisse / 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm / France (Pays de la Loire) / Love
by Sean / 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm / United States / Health
Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML
by fuck kids / 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Health
by anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by sammarli530 / 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by child of a crazed women / 04/07/2013 at 5:19am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…