Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About SaxophoneHero : If you came to my profile wondering if I am the blue dude playing the saxophone in the picture, I will have you know that I actually am! I'm part smurf, please don't make fun of me for it. Don't be a racist.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I attended my first day of school 4 days after reconstructive surgery. But no worries: I'm sure my alien-like appearance and 2 hours of Darth Vader style breathing in an otherwise silent test room will make me lots of friends. FML
Today, I learned that the 'junk' my wife had donated included part of my comic book collection. One in particular had been signed by Spider-Man creator Stan Lee. My wife doesn't see the big deal because, "How important can Stanley's signatures be when you can't even tell me his last name?" FML
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML
Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Friday 7 March 2014