Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SaturnV

Offline (the 08/01/2015 at 8:56am) | Search for a member

SaturnV

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 January 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3007
  • Number of comments : 202
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

SaturnV's page activity

Visits<b>Liamj774</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 5:19pm<b>jet223</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:06am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 4:02pm<b>kc_chocochip</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:53am<b>bekkylove22</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 5:07pm<b>ue4life</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 5:47pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:02am<b>warhorse465</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:55pm<b>AHack</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:22pm<b>cakesordeath</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:49pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 11:22am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:22am<b>tchopper1969</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 6:12am<b>Sobe_1900</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 7:00pm<b>bigcurrymonster</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:22am<b>bullhand93</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 2:58pm<b>blcksocks</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 2:04pm

Fucked!<b>Liamj774</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 11:20pm<b>bekkylove22</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:07pm<b>cakesordeath</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 6:49pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 2:22pm<b>tchopper1969</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:12pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:58pm<b>briang959</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 11:23pm<b>bobdlawr</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:26pm

SaturnV's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SaturnV's badges

SaturnV's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68383) - you deserved it (19354)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45350) - you deserved it (7705)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

#20686007
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50597) - you deserved it (4609)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44707) - you deserved it (5997)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

#20673056
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42944) - you deserved it (8338)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51742) - you deserved it (4968)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

#20663640
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40432) - you deserved it (6679)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50432) - you deserved it (7100)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50432) - you deserved it (7100)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70122) - you deserved it (10303)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63534) - you deserved it (9604)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

#20636739
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40850) - you deserved it (3888)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

#20634924
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28544) - you deserved it (55187)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

#20634724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64350) - you deserved it (5229)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24537) - you deserved it (43909)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: