SaturnV

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Offline (the 09/14/2015 at 1:09pm)

SaturnV

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 January 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4156
  • Number of comments : 202
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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SaturnV's page activity

Visits<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 12:26am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 9:05pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 9:33pm<b>EwahWeeWah</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 7:22am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 10:12am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 3:15pm<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 4:16pm<b>Brian2911</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 7:58am<b>myaahni</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:53pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 6:18am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 2:33pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 5:03pm<b>COURT_KING</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 12:36am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 1:13am<b>LunaaBluee</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:28pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 3:44am<b>vet1</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 1:27am<b>Damafia</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 7:27am

Fucked!<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 11:03pm<b>vet1</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 7:27am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 11:20pm<b>bekkylove22</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:07pm<b>cakesordeath</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 6:49pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 2:22pm<b>tchopper1969</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:12pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:58pm<b>briang959</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 11:23pm<b>bobdlawr</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:26pm

SaturnV's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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SaturnV's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

by say no to dick / 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

by polebitch49 / 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I watched my daughter squealing with delight in front of a video game. Beating a boss? Slaying an adversary? Completing a quest? Not at all. She was chasing birds, making them fly away, then starting all over again as soon as they landed. She's 19. FML

by melimelo24 / 03/13/2014 at 5:33am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

by hot sweet.... not / 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Kids

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

by anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

by FMLPLZ / 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

by Jizzyface / 12/29/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, I diagnosed a patient with a spastic colon. For some reason, the term "spastic colon" has always amused me, and I burst into uncontrollable laughter as I said it. By the time I managed to stop laughing, my eyes were watering and my patient was visibly angry. FML

by dr immature / 12/23/2013 at 6:11pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

by fuck my eyeballs / 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML

by raz_berri93 / 11/17/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

by bobosgonnagetyou / 11/01/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm / United States (New York) / Love