Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SaturnV

Offline (the 09/14/2015 at 1:09pm) | Search for a member

SaturnV

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 January 1986 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3330
  • Number of comments : 202
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

SaturnV's page activity

Visits<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 4:16pm<b>Brian2911</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 7:58am<b>myaahni</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:53pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 6:18am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 2:33pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 5:03pm<b>COURT_KING</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 12:36am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 1:13am<b>LunaaBluee</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:28pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 3:44am<b>vet1</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 1:27am<b>Damafia</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 7:27am<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 4:50am<b>DamnBailie</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 1:31am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 5:19pm<b>jet223</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:06am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 4:02pm<b>kc_chocochip</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:53am

Fucked!<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 11:03pm<b>vet1</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 7:27am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 11:20pm<b>bekkylove22</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:07pm<b>cakesordeath</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 6:49pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 2:22pm<b>tchopper1969</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:12pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:58pm<b>briang959</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 11:23pm<b>bobdlawr</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:26pm

SaturnV's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SaturnV's badges

SaturnV's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32623) - you deserved it (41725)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52758) - you deserved it (20127)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

#21086642
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58027) - you deserved it (7249)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46378) - you deserved it (5861)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60344) - you deserved it (6661) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34029) - you deserved it (42481)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44927) - you deserved it (8365) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

#21014763
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46043) - you deserved it (8894)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by FMLPLZ (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54254) - you deserved it (27910)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I diagnosed a patient with a spastic colon. For some reason, the term "spastic colon" has always amused me, and I burst into uncontrollable laughter as I said it. By the time I managed to stop laughing, my eyes were watering and my patient was visibly angry. FML

#21002747
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22563) - you deserved it (46673)

On 12/23/2013 at 6:11pm - work - by dr immature (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47493) - you deserved it (21400)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40345) - you deserved it (3587)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

#20927673
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44234) - you deserved it (5897)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: