Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SaturnV

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

SaturnV

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 January 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1125
  • Number of comments : 198
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

SaturnV's page activity

Visits<b>Ben009</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:30pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 5:57am<b>isabel0010</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:33pm<b>JustStella</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 4:32pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 3:12pm<b>baseballbv</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:56am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:10am<b>bigmanE</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:49am<b>boostedc</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:27am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 9:58am<b>orbit</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 9:30am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 2:07am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 11:59pm<b>RunningDuck</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:43pm<b>91hayek</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:54am<b>smartin123</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 8:24am<b>critch</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 6:48am<b>Daveyboy75</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:05am

SaturnV's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SaturnV's badges

SaturnV's favorite FMLs

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

#20902037
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (38713)

On 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51317) - you deserved it (6288)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54836) - you deserved it (27557)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44262) - you deserved it (2985)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60206) - you deserved it (4380)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54693) - you deserved it (6338)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

#20744996
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30258) - you deserved it (5678)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58528) - you deserved it (3811)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49980) - you deserved it (11641)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68741) - you deserved it (6547)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML

#20731175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41200) - you deserved it (13528)

On 06/17/2013 at 9:55am - health - by nomwar (woman) - United States

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83670) - you deserved it (8004)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67996) - you deserved it (4148)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65506) - you deserved it (18687)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: