Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SaturnV

Offline (17 hours ago) | Search for a member

SaturnV

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 January 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2254
  • Number of comments : 201
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

SaturnV's page activity

Visits<b>JazzHandsFML</b> - yesterday at 9:42pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 5:23pm<b>scottyboy417</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:47pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:16am<b>WitEluded</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:15am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 1:10am<b>morondon000</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 3:38pm<b>Nicky816</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:53pm<b>tykatdesigns</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 9:16am<b>georgemac</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 9:57pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 12:36pm<b>chanelleyy</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 1:10pm<b>ontheburge</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 7:30pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 2:20pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 8:46am<b>captain_mal</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 1:16am<b>Justine94_x</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:32pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:38am

Liked!<b>Evil20071</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 11:23pm<b>bobdlawr</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:26pm

SaturnV's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SaturnV's badges

SaturnV's favorite FMLs

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29256) - you deserved it (2271)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37101) - you deserved it (11234)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I told my mom that once I leave school, I want to join the clergy, and how much it meant to me. Her response: "Never knew you wanted to molest kids so much!" FML

#21270314
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30027) - you deserved it (6346)

On 10/03/2014 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37146) - you deserved it (3701)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML

#21257129
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36319) - you deserved it (8481)

On 09/12/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

#21253639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35556) - you deserved it (3950)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by imgonnadie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

#21249886
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34149) - you deserved it (3053)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by s0728 - United States (Texas)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36894) - you deserved it (5491)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42292) - you deserved it (6139)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML

#21202786
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26573) - you deserved it (59527)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by anona (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43066) - you deserved it (6142)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my two cats decided to have a brawl on top of me. I was just trying to get to sleep. Now I'm covered in scratches. FML

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42797) - you deserved it (6226)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: