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Saturn

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Saturn
  • Town/Country : Awesometown, England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 13 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 924
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Saturn : oink oink

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Saturn's favorite FMLs

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17985) - you deserved it (41981)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40107) - you deserved it (5705)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41021) - you deserved it (5688)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35803) - you deserved it (14226)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

#21006112
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35390) - you deserved it (4671)

On 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I diagnosed a patient with a spastic colon. For some reason, the term "spastic colon" has always amused me, and I burst into uncontrollable laughter as I said it. By the time I managed to stop laughing, my eyes were watering and my patient was visibly angry. FML

#21002747
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20080) - you deserved it (41789)

On 12/23/2013 at 6:11pm - work - by dr immature (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in a desperate attempt to add some variety to my life, I resorted to closing my eyes and picking a random font for my essay paper. FML

#20998799
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29612) - you deserved it (6455)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Jess (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36238) - you deserved it (9668)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

#20989886
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35877) - you deserved it (4767)

On 12/12/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered that my heart rate is higher while playing Tetris than it is during sex. FML

#20968767
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35746) - you deserved it (5248)

On 11/24/2013 at 7:30am - misc - by TetrisMaster - Australia

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42859) - you deserved it (6389)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

#20959118
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43519) - you deserved it (4178)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm - kids - by I don't know, son (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38326) - you deserved it (2362)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42890) - you deserved it (11198)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47870) - you deserved it (10274)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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