About SarcasticUnicorn : I love Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, Frank Sinatra, Snow White, ALF, and hotdogs.
That is all there is to life, really.
Have a lovely day.
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Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14370) - you deserved it (11824)
On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14370) - you deserved it (11824)
On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10564) - you deserved it (18211)
On 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm - misc - by Musicfreak (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40414) - you deserved it (1582)
On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27993) - you deserved it (4973)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27993) - you deserved it (4973)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27993) - you deserved it (4973)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45146) - you deserved it (2297)
On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8585) - you deserved it (66341)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, our school started an anti-bullying policy, and we watched a video about bullying. After the video, I told a teacher about a bullying case going on that I know about. His response? "Tell someone who cares" as he walked away chuckling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26532) - you deserved it (2882)
On 12/01/2011 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28830) - you deserved it (4083)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39231) - you deserved it (3776)
On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I went to school without makeup. No one recognized me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12628) - you deserved it (28990)
On 09/19/2011 at 4:16pm - misc - by Nicole - United States (California)
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23829) - you deserved it (10241)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71989) - you deserved it (9157)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Monday 17 June 2013
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