Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SarcasticUnicorn

Search for a member

SarcasticUnicorn

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 December 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3127
  • Number of comments : 134
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About SarcasticUnicorn : I love Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, Frank Sinatra, Snow White, ALF, and hotdogs.

That is all there is to life, really.

Have a lovely day.

SarcasticUnicorn's page activity

Visits<b>oops6663</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 9:50am<b>OmegaTitan</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:22am<b>Sam_Dchi</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:10am<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 12:33am<b>munuxi</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 11:20am<b>burro012</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 11:03pm<b>WhatTheHeckman8</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:59pm<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 8:37am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:55am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:57pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 8:02pm<b>nothemother</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 10:36am<b>taytaysings97</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:24am<b>DaFoo</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:22am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 11:00pm<b>skyler1</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:52pm<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:55am

SarcasticUnicorn's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of SarcasticUnicorn's badges

SarcasticUnicorn's favorite FMLs

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

#18547021
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19880) - you deserved it (16257)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

#18547021
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19880) - you deserved it (16257)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

#18547021
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19880) - you deserved it (16257)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

#18546937
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13844) - you deserved it (26672)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm - misc - by Musicfreak (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

#18542050
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50159) - you deserved it (2339)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53987) - you deserved it (3285)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12113) - you deserved it (91603)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, our school started an anti-bullying policy, and we watched a video about bullying. After the video, I told a teacher about a bullying case going on that I know about. His response? "Tell someone who cares" as he walked away chuckling. FML

#18400111
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33798) - you deserved it (4074)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37218) - you deserved it (5542)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
493 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48353) - you deserved it (4536)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to school without makeup. No one recognized me. FML

#17781243
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16230) - you deserved it (40861)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:16pm - misc - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28251) - you deserved it (11532)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: