About SarcasticUnicorn : I love Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, Frank Sinatra, Snow White, ALF, and hotdogs.
That is all there is to life, really.
Have a lovely day.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18316) - you deserved it (1976)
On 01/26/2012 at 9:49am - love - by The Towel Molester (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23850) - you deserved it (1794)
On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20569) - you deserved it (6110)
On 01/20/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20569) - you deserved it (6110)
On 01/20/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is a Mormon, when his mother greeted me saying how happy she was her son had found himself a Mormon girlfriend. I know nothing about Mormonism, except from what I've seen on South Park, and I'm an atheist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23446) - you deserved it (720)
On 01/17/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33575) - you deserved it (7587)
On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26329) - you deserved it (2723)
On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10654) - you deserved it (16423)
On 01/12/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Armagh)
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20452) - you deserved it (5448)
On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States
Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24265) - you deserved it (1925)
On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25851) - you deserved it (20214)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21838) - you deserved it (2434)
On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23502) - you deserved it (4150)
On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26425) - you deserved it (4813)
On 12/19/2011 at 2:55am - intimacy - by mo (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14310) - you deserved it (11810)
On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
