SarcasticUnicorn

Search for a member

SarcasticUnicorn

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4112
  • Number of comments : 134
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About SarcasticUnicorn : I love Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, Frank Sinatra, Snow White, ALF, and hotdogs.

That is all there is to life, really.

Have a lovely day.

SarcasticUnicorn's page activity

Visits<b>psychocunt</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 12:56am<b>Artures_way1</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 11:17pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 10:17pm<b>Olivia93</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 9:12pm<b>This_Sucks178</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 11:07pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 12:19pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 4:01am<b>OptimusSlime</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 2:14pm<b>pokehmahn</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 6:15pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 1:22pm<b>heybro19</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:17am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 6:20pm<b>pyronexus</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 1:07pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 7:28pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 2:55am<b>ThatOneChick856</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 12:24pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 11:39am<b>ExhaustedSausage</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 3:23pm

Fucked!<b>Olivia93</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 3:13am

SarcasticUnicorn's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of SarcasticUnicorn's badges

SarcasticUnicorn's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

by The Towel Molester / 01/26/2012 at 9:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head. FML

by anonymous / 01/20/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head. FML

by anonymous / 01/20/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is a Mormon, when his mother greeted me saying how happy she was her son had found himself a Mormon girlfriend. I know nothing about Mormonism, except from what I've seen on South Park, and I'm an atheist. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

by involuntary waxing / 01/15/2012 at 4:00am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 11:33am / United Kingdom (Armagh) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

by eakthegeek / 01/10/2012 at 4:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

by Gemma / 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

by ThinZ / 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was wanking and started thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

by mo / 12/19/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy