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SarcasticUnicorn

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SarcasticUnicorn

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 December 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2152
  • Number of comments : 134
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About SarcasticUnicorn : I love Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, Frank Sinatra, Snow White, ALF, and hotdogs.

That is all there is to life, really.

Have a lovely day.

SarcasticUnicorn's page activity

Visits<b>DaFoo</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:22am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 11:00pm<b>skyler1</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:52pm<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:55am<b>Advising</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:09pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:08am<b>nastag</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 12:38am<b>rowdyriot</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 11:46am<b>kelsiii_michelee</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 7:33pm<b>HylianTwilight</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 7:42am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:48am<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 8:52pm<b>suckstosuckgirl</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 2:02am<b>jh1129</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 5:03pm<b>catchmenow1</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 2:45pm<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 2:25pm<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 5:19pm

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SarcasticUnicorn's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

#18926603
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29317) - you deserved it (3363)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

#18914939
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23078) - you deserved it (2703)

On 01/26/2012 at 9:49am - love - by The Towel Molester (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29578) - you deserved it (2471)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head. FML

#18858383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27207) - you deserved it (8395)

On 01/20/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head. FML

#18858383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27207) - you deserved it (8395)

On 01/20/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is a Mormon, when his mother greeted me saying how happy she was her son had found himself a Mormon girlfriend. I know nothing about Mormonism, except from what I've seen on South Park, and I'm an atheist. FML

#18830961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29131) - you deserved it (5775)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40211) - you deserved it (9630)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33000) - you deserved it (3749)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

#18784375
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14066) - you deserved it (24264)

On 01/12/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Armagh)

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

#18764509
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25896) - you deserved it (6156)

On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

#18728247
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30191) - you deserved it (2634)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31679) - you deserved it (27382)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

#18591891
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27730) - you deserved it (3322)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

#18567252
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29529) - you deserved it (5592)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

#18551023
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33103) - you deserved it (6435)

On 12/19/2011 at 2:55am - intimacy - by mo (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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