SarcasticUnicorn

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SarcasticUnicorn

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4108
  • Number of comments : 134
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About SarcasticUnicorn : I love Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, Frank Sinatra, Snow White, ALF, and hotdogs.

That is all there is to life, really.

Have a lovely day.

SarcasticUnicorn's page activity

Visits<b>psychocunt</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 12:56am<b>Artures_way1</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 11:17pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 10:17pm<b>Olivia93</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 9:12pm<b>This_Sucks178</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 11:07pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 12:19pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 4:01am<b>OptimusSlime</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 2:14pm<b>pokehmahn</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 6:15pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 1:22pm<b>heybro19</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:17am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 6:20pm<b>pyronexus</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 1:07pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 7:28pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 2:55am<b>ThatOneChick856</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 12:24pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 11:39am<b>ExhaustedSausage</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 3:23pm

Fucked!<b>Olivia93</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 3:13am

SarcasticUnicorn's FML badges

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50 quality responses

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SarcasticUnicorn's favorite FMLs

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

by virginkiller / 03/03/2012 at 8:23am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

by virginkiller / 03/03/2012 at 8:23am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML

by unknown / 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm / United States / Love

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

by afraidtoburn / 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

by fmylifebigtime / 02/25/2012 at 9:35am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

by Gavin / 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

by Anonymoosey / 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

by me / 02/19/2012 at 6:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm / United States / Kids

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

by kittens go meow / 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 10:01am / United States / Intimacy