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SarcasticUnicorn

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SarcasticUnicorn

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 December 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2105
  • Number of comments : 134
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About SarcasticUnicorn : I love Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, Frank Sinatra, Snow White, ALF, and hotdogs.

That is all there is to life, really.

Have a lovely day.

SarcasticUnicorn's page activity

Visits<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 11:00pm<b>skyler1</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:52pm<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:55am<b>Advising</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:09pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:08am<b>nastag</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 12:38am<b>rowdyriot</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 11:46am<b>kelsiii_michelee</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 7:33pm<b>HylianTwilight</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 7:42am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:48am<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 8:52pm<b>suckstosuckgirl</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 2:02am<b>jh1129</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 5:03pm<b>catchmenow1</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 2:45pm<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 2:25pm<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 5:19pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 9:24pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 10:53pm

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SarcasticUnicorn's favorite FMLs

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28883) - you deserved it (3821)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29075) - you deserved it (9270)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

#19207829
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32158) - you deserved it (4911)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

#19207829
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32158) - you deserved it (4911)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore

Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML

#19174580
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43067) - you deserved it (2518)

On 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm - love - by unknown - United States

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

#19164372
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28627) - you deserved it (2142)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

#19159712
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39265) - you deserved it (3002)

On 02/25/2012 at 9:35am - intimacy - by fmylifebigtime - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26202) - you deserved it (4055)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29208) - you deserved it (4625)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

#19113419
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29879) - you deserved it (4105)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20334) - you deserved it (5143)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

#19078471
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28215) - you deserved it (3038)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

#19059708
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27792) - you deserved it (2105)

On 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9698) - you deserved it (73836)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55019) - you deserved it (4228)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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