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Sarbear42

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Sarbear42

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 127
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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Sarbear42's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Sarbear42's badges

Sarbear42's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I've been moved out for a few years, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML

#21435425
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24546) - you deserved it (3829)

On 07/02/2015 at 3:16pm - misc - by I'm an adult! - United States (Washington)

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28612) - you deserved it (3000)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML

#21345551
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28594) - you deserved it (2239)

On 01/28/2015 at 10:01am - work - by retailshell (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML

#21342125
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32293) - you deserved it (7975)

On 01/22/2015 at 6:32am - health - by unsuspectingmom - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

#21341327
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30944) - you deserved it (11903)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm - intimacy - by chelse_elyce - United States

Today, I found out that every single picture that I have ever sent to my boyfriend, his father has also received. Every. Single. One. FML

#21337935
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25009) - you deserved it (27027)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:43pm - love - by everysingleone - United States

Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML

#21334864
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30668) - you deserved it (6410)

On 01/11/2015 at 12:56am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML

#21332502
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35626) - you deserved it (3097)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by MonsterProblems (woman) - Croatia

Today, I was working out on a horse farm. I slipped and fell on some ice, whacking my head on the metal gate in the process. As I was getting up, I accidentally grabbed the electric fence. FML

Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML

#21330209
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41014) - you deserved it (5084)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:30pm - health - by Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36601) - you deserved it (6884)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at work at a call center, I got a call from an elderly man who needed a new credit card because he'd accidentally cut up his own card instead of his wife's. Trying to be funny, I said "Trying to keep her in line, eh?" Turns out his wife had just died. FML

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

#21328278
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40976) - you deserved it (3232)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:47am - love - by Proposal Fail - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25412) - you deserved it (45110)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27884) - you deserved it (16828)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States



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