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Sarbear42

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Sarbear42

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  • Number of visits : 75
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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Sarbear42's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34289) - you deserved it (5564)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

#21074731
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49007) - you deserved it (5602)

On 03/01/2014 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

#21072191
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46942) - you deserved it (9240)

On 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by lovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was breast feeding my son. Out of nowhere, he bit my nipple hard, causing me to scream in pain. He giggled with my nipple still between his teeth. FML

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52687) - you deserved it (5991)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

#21052943
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43734) - you deserved it (15661)

On 02/06/2014 at 11:48pm - intimacy - by cryface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. 5ML

#21038584
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39027) - you deserved it (21184)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56029) - you deserved it (9001)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51614) - you deserved it (11561)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59564) - you deserved it (4352)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

#21006112
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37320) - you deserved it (5203)

On 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend of five years got me a ring for Christmas. When I opened it, I was speechless and overjoyed. He then said, "It's just a ring. It doesn't mean anything." FML

#21003775
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45580) - you deserved it (5187)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:30pm - love - by Wtfbro (woman) - United States

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50079) - you deserved it (6933)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51808) - you deserved it (14916)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

#20968136
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43541) - you deserved it (4367)

On 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina



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Friday 17 October 2014

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