SarahLillian

Search for a member

SarahLillian

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 February 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 645
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

SarahLillian's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:08pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 7:07am<b>KandyK16</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 7:07pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:08pm

SarahLillian's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

SarahLillian's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

by 97 / 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was texting a guy that one of my friends told me about. She gave me his number and told me about how he was deaf. Three hours into great conversation I forgot and asked him what his favorite music was. FML

by Scumbagmemory / 01/21/2012 at 11:17pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

by suffersecks / 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

by omgwhyme / 01/08/2012 at 9:36am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

by thankzbabe / 01/04/2012 at 7:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2011 at 1:21am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML

by awalc / 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via the medium of free-style rapping. FML

by Emily / 12/17/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, I'd had it with my mom's addiction to weed, so I told her to choose between me or the weed. I'm currently looking on Craigslist for an apartment. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2011 at 10:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

by stinky / 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Work