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SarahLillian

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SarahLillian

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 February 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 400
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SarahLillian's page activity

Visits<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 7:07am<b>KandyK16</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 7:07pm<b>moksha</b> - the 03/28/2012 at 6:14am

SarahLillian's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

SarahLillian's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

#19101207
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35259) - you deserved it (5466)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33283) - you deserved it (3565)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was texting a guy that one of my friends told me about. She gave me his number and told me about how he was deaf. Three hours into great conversation I forgot and asked him what his favorite music was. FML

#18875593
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24551) - you deserved it (10237)

On 01/21/2012 at 11:17pm - love - by Scumbagmemory (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

#18864216
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32866) - you deserved it (5536)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by suffersecks - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49217) - you deserved it (46269)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19938) - you deserved it (39191)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12067) - you deserved it (55613)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

#18704788
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31199) - you deserved it (5023)

On 01/04/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by thankzbabe (woman) - United States

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML

#18659966
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22673) - you deserved it (6643)

On 12/31/2011 at 1:21am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML

#18561350
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27472) - you deserved it (5422)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via the medium of free-style rapping. FML

#18535495
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31072) - you deserved it (4123)

On 12/17/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by Emily - United States (Indiana)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, I'd had it with my mom's addiction to weed, so I told her to choose between me or the weed. I'm currently looking on Craigslist for an apartment. FML

#18523921
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34268) - you deserved it (12260)

On 12/15/2011 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8976) - you deserved it (40921)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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