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Sara_Hynes

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Sara_Hynes

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Sara_Hynes's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent the night with my boyfriend as he promised me that his parents and younger brother, who I have yet to meet, were out of town until Tuesday. We were awoken by his mother screaming, telling me that she doesn't want girls in the house corrupting her baby boy. He's 20. FML

Today, my husband bought me a beautiful pair of earrings for my birthday, to match the necklace he'd spent months searching for online the previous year. What necklace? He gave me a watch he found at Walmart last year. I wonder who the lucky girl with the necklace is. FML

#8870594
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27841) - you deserved it (2255)

On 03/06/2010 at 2:42pm - love - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my six year old daughter cut out the stomach area of four of my favorite shirts. When I asked her why she had done so she replied, "So that they fit your tummy better, Mommy." FML

#8864405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26419) - you deserved it (5472)

On 03/06/2010 at 8:05am - kids - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from my optometrist. I ignored the call, because I already knew I had my appointment tomorrow. When I listened to my messages later, I found out it was from his secretary, saying all of his appointments have been canceled due to him passing away last night. FML

#8824133
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18874) - you deserved it (8075)

On 03/04/2010 at 2:41pm - misc - by dpod121 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

#8822462
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33044) - you deserved it (9061)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I went out to eat with a group of couples and my boyfriend. All my friends boyfriends paid for them. Mine didn't, and said that I should order off the diet menu. FML

#8821558
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27817) - you deserved it (4830)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:51am - love - by Sam - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML

#8807543
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29837) - you deserved it (2251)

On 03/03/2010 at 8:26pm - love - by WhiteLiar (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was perusing my mom's Facebook. I noticed she has an album of pictures for each member of the family, except me. The dog has an album. FML

#8790024
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23904) - you deserved it (2297)

On 03/03/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, a wasp flew into my room. While I, a 6'2" hockey player, cowered in the corner, my 4'11" girlfriend killed it. FML

#8770884
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8990) - you deserved it (36409)

On 03/02/2010 at 10:53am - animals - by Jeff - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw a man on the bus with the strangest band shirt I have ever seen. I could not help but stare at it and try and figure what the band was, until he turned to me and said "why not take a picture asshole?" then got off the bus. As he walked away I saw that he was missing an arm. FML

#8737803
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24653) - you deserved it (5516)

On 03/01/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by theholt (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he was going to make it to our first child's Christening as there was a football match on at the same time. Without hesitating, he replyed that he would just watch the recording. He meant the recording of the Christenting. He was serious. FML

#8714094
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27537) - you deserved it (5646)

On 02/28/2010 at 9:26am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

#8646010
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5757) - you deserved it (39686)

On 02/25/2010 at 7:14pm - health - by djshahso - United States

Today, I was working as a cashier at a restaurant. When I receive $50 and $100 bills I am required to have a manager check to make sure they are not counterfeit. Every manager I found yelled at me to find another manager because they were busy. Frustrated, I just accepted the bill. It was fake. FML

#8643590
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31122) - you deserved it (5732)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:29pm - work - by hatemyjob (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came home to find that my roommate had done the laundry. At first, I was very appreciative. However, I wasn't so thankful when I found out she brought home the wrong basket from the laundromat. FML

#8639311
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20083) - you deserved it (1866)

On 02/25/2010 at 1:12pm - misc - by jacquelle - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

#8637899
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25418) - you deserved it (2993)

On 02/25/2010 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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